Recently I went to Indian Mountaineering Foundation for climbing on recommendation of a friend. The place is raw and seems real fun. Four walls categorized on the level of complexity stands side by side. Obviously! I would begin with the Blue wall (the simplest they say).
I was never scared of heights and used to brag about my love of heights by standing on the corner when visiting hills. When I reached to my threshold on the wall where my arms and shoulders gave up to climb further, I realized at that very moment that may be I am not scared of this height but sure I am scared of falling even if I know I am supported by a harness and someone is standing on the ground to bail me. Okay I understand its against the natural survival instincts of a human. Falling down is not a comfortable disposition but you know you are being bailed. One more discovery – Trust issues! If the person below fails to hold tight and can’t save me. This person has no relation with me why would he/she be bothered if I get hurt. It’s just their job .. right?
Seriously! this mistrust.
But after a point of time body gave up and I had to let go of the hold. Wohoo! falling was scary for few milliseconds and then it was fine. It will take few more iterations of falling down to be more comfortable with it. Of course! I will have to be comfortable. If I stay up there holding on to the wall for long, I will get tired and my strength will eventually give up and I will lose the interest consequently and won’t come back to this place. So much loss for one fear! Totally not worth it! Took a leap of faith and yes there was certain improvement but a lot of scope is there to improve yet.
May be that’s why our elders say – Get comfortable with failures. Don’t hold on to them for so long. Hit it hard next time and taste the success.
Long way to go woman! Buck up!